It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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