hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
