is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
