How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize