Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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