I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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