I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
