Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
