Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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