Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
