Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Randomize
