YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
