I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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