Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
