but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
