I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
