I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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