you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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