I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
so much tequila, so little girl.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
