Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
