just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
