you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
