R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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