I cockslap morals
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
