No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
