Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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