We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
