This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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