Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
