Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
