He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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