Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
