Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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