Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
