wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
