I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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