He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
