How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
4 words: hood of his car
I need to stop coming to work sober
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
