Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
