So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
