I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's always time for handjobs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
