i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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