It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
