Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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