i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
