i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
