BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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