I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
