I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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