i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
