The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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