i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
