i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
